God Mode Review
You know, eventually, when all gets boiled down, every game that gets released will have borrowed from many games that have come before it. That shouldn’t be an excuse, however. When games come around soiling my eyes with so many old ideas, so many bland set-pieces, it sends me into a rage so destructive, that it causes me to point at all of the people hiding behind the curtains and exclaim in a very loud voice:
“DOWN WITH THE OLD,
IN WITH THE NEW,
TRY TO BE BOLD,
WITH SOME NEW IDEAS,
This may cause me to be looked upon as some sort of rambling madman, but it applies. And, if I’m called mad for calling bullshit on such tired ideas, throw me into the nuthouse, because it’s only beginning. God Mode is a game so rife with silly, old, and boring design decisions, it seems like a game that was released years ago, before horde modes were included in every game in the market. What else could you expect? With a name as excessively dull and uncreative as God Mode a certain degree of shittiness is certainly expected. But fuck expectations, if I were to go through life with the belief that things can only be as good as the titles given to them, I never would have become a fan of Max Payne.
Every single level begins with a personality claiming to be Hades, exclaiming your cause of death, which is always different, even if you pick the same character every time. I opted to choose my own mode of death; I died defending a Canadian from an angry mob which believed that maple syrup caused cancer. That way, at least there would be some semblance of consistency with the way the game sets the stage for the player. The levels themselves are just boring, predictable set-pieces that are as predictable as they are boring. Nothing in the scenery stands out, it feels like it is just so much nothing spread too thin over a giant piece of toast. The combat is not much different. A horde of zombie things come forward, one two – you have a submachine gun, three four – you hold down your shooty button, five six – you die a lot because the dodge roll doesn’t dodge things, seven eight – there is nothing that elicits in me such hate.
Maybe I could have played longer, levelled up, got more weapons, and maybe had a more positive experience. But I would much rather spend my time browsing the internet, and throwing myself into a cat-fuelled rage.
I may be mad, it seems to be the consensus among the “normals” that plague my day-to-day life, but games like this have no place in the scene any more. If I just wanted to blindly run around killing things, I’d play Painkiller. At least then I wouldn’t have three complete strangers getting themselves killed and taking all of my lives like selfish vampires, who coat themselves in cream cheese whilst listening to Godspeed You! Black Emperor, rubbing their self-importance over everyone else like toasted bagels.
NO I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M ON ABOUT, GO AWAY!
Release Date: 19 Apr 2013
Developer: Old School Games